To get your husband on your side in chapter 39, communicate openly and honestly, and seek to understand his perspective. Having your partner on your side in a marriage is critical, especially when facing various challenges such as parenthood, finances, and personal issues.
In this article, we will cover chapter 39 of ‘getting the love you want’ by harville hendrix, which talks about getting your husband on your side. This chapter stresses the importance of effective communication, empathy, and understanding your partner’s perspective.
When you put yourself in their shoes, you can gain insights into their thoughts and emotions, which can help you bond and strengthen your relationship. Additionally, this chapter provides helpful tools to help you and your partner connect and foster a healthy relationship.

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Why Persuasion Skills Are Essential In Marriage (#1 Heading)
Understanding The Importance Of Persuasion In Marriage
Persuasion is a critical element in marriage as it helps overcome disagreements, make compromises, and maintain a healthy relationship between partners. Here are some crucial points to understand about persuasion in marriage:
- Persuasion enables partners to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and needs effectively. This helps prevent misunderstandings and promotes transparency, which is essential for a healthy relationship.
- Without persuasion, partners may take opposing sides on issues, leading to conflicts and eventually, emotional distance from each other.
- Persuasion skills allow partners to express their opinions without discrediting their partner’s perspective, which helps build mutual respect.
Characteristics Of A Persuasive Partner
A persuasive partner possesses certain traits that help inspire their partner to see their point of view. Here are some of the top characteristics of a persuasive partner:
- A persuasive partner is a good listener who makes an effort to understand their partner’s point of view before presenting their perspective.
- They use clear and concise language to articulate their thoughts, which helps prevent confusion and misunderstandings.
- A persuasive partner focuses on finding common ground with their partner, which helps promote mutual understanding and respect.
- They come prepared with logical arguments, facts, and examples to support their position, which helps build credibility and fosters a sense of trust between the partners.
- A persuasive partner recognizes that persuasion is a two-way street, where both partners should be open to presenting their point of view and listening to each other’s perspective.
Persuasion skills are critical for maintaining a healthy and robust relationship between partners. It helps prevent conflicts and misunderstandings and promotes mutual respect and understanding. A persuasive partner is a good listener, uses clear and concise language, focuses on finding common ground, supports their opinion with facts and examples, and recognizes that persuasion is a two-way street.
With these skills, partners can work together to overcome any challenges and keep their relationship strong.
Identifying Your Husband’S Personality & Persuasion Style (#2 Heading)
Identifying Your Husband’S Personality & Persuasion Style
Understanding your husband’s personality and persuasion style is the key to getting him on your side. It allows you to approach him in a way that resonates with him and maximizes the chances of success. In this section, we’ll explore how differences in personalities affect communication, tips for recognizing your husband’s persuasion style, and matching your persuasion style to the one that works for your husband.
How Personality Differences Affect Communication
Personality influences how people perceive and interpret the world, and this includes communication. Several personality models exist, but for the purpose of this article, we’ll use the myers-briggs type indicator (mbti). Some key points to note are:
- Extroversion versus introversion: Extroverts are outgoing, talkative, and sociable, while introverts are reserved, introspective, and private. Extroverted husbands may prefer more direct communication, while introverted ones may appreciate more nuanced approaches.
- Sensing versus intuition: Sensing personalities focus on concrete facts and details, while intuitive people operate based on abstract ideas and connections. You can tailor your words and explanations according to whether your husband gravitates towards concrete examples or abstract concepts.
- Thinking versus feeling: Thinking people prioritize logic and rationality, while feeling individuals value emotions and subjective experiences. Knowing which side your husband falls on can help you frame your arguments in a way that resonates with him.
Recognizing Your Husband’S Persuasion Style
Persuasion style relates to the methods or tactics your husband uses to make decisions and take action. Two primary persuasion models exist- the cialdini system and the six persuasion principles developed by robert cialdini. Some tips for recognizing your husband’s persuasion style are:
- Watch for his preferred methods: Does he rely more on logic or emotions, authority, or reciprocity?
- Listen to his language: Does he use more deductive language or inductive language?
- Analyze the factors that influence his decisions: Is he more swayed by practical benefits or abstract concepts?
- Study how he behaves in specific situations: Is he more motivated by frustration or motivation?
Matching Your Persuasion Style To Your Husband’S
Now that you understand your husband’s personality and persuasion style, the next step is to tailor your communication and persuasion efforts to match his. Doing so increases the likelihood of him being receptive to your ideas and messages.
- Use language that resonates with him: Use language that your husband can relate to, and avoid using language that he doesn’t understand or finds unappealing.
- Respect his communication preferences: If your husband prefers text messages to phone calls, stick to texts.
- Acknowledge his ideas: Listen to his perspectives and acknowledge his ideas before presenting yours.
- Address his needs: Address the needs that your husband has expressed or that you’ve gleaned from his actions.
Understanding your husband’s personality and persuasion style is crucial in getting him on your side. It provides you insight into what resonates with him, which can improve communication and increase the likelihood of success. By focusing on your husband’s preferences, adjusting your communication style, and tailoring your persuasion tactics, you can ensure that you’re approaching him in the most effective way possible.
Building Effective Communication Strategies (#3 Heading)
Building Effective Communication Strategies
Having good communication with your husband is essential in any healthy and happy marriage. But, communication isn’t just about talking. Here are some tips on how to build effective communication strategies that will help you get your husband on your side.
Creating A Safe Space For Open Communication
If you’re looking to get your husband on your side, creating a safe space for open communication is a must. Here’s how:
- Avoid interrupting when he’s talking.
- Listen mindfully to understand him without passing any judgments.
- Keep your tone positive and friendly.
- Avoid shaming or blaming him for anything.
- Create a distraction-free environment to communicate effectively and be present in the moment.
Techniques For Effective Listening And Response
It’s essential to be an active listener when communicating with your partner. Here are some tips to improve your listening skills and provide an effective response:
- Tune yourself into your partner’s emotions and needs.
- Paraphrase the message that he’s trying to convey.
- Pay close attention to non-verbal communication, such as body language.
- Respond empathetically. Assure him that he’s been heard and understood.
Using Emotional Intelligence In Communication
Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for effective communication. Here’s how you can use it:
- Take a moment to reflect on what you are feeling and how your emotions can affect the conversation.
- Use “i” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, “i feel hurt when you don’t listen to me” instead of “you never listen to me.”
- Be mindful of how your tone, words and nonverbal communication impact your partner’s feelings.
- Empathize with your partner and acknowledge their feelings.
By developing these effective communication strategies, you can get your husband on your side. Remember to be patient and keep practicing these tips until you see positive changes in your communication with your husband.
Mastering The Art Of Persuasion (#4 Heading)
Mastering The Art Of Persuasion
Persuasion is an essential skill that can help you win your husband’s support on any issue. Here are the seven basic tactics for persuasion that you must master:
- Be straightforward and clear with your intentions.
- Show genuine interest in his thoughts and feelings.
- Provide credible and factual information to back up your argument.
- Focus on the benefits and advantages of your proposal.
- Use positive language to create an optimistic atmosphere.
- Listen attentively and acknowledge his points.
- Offer a win-win solution that can satisfy both of your needs.
How To Handle Your Husband’S Objections
Getting your husband’s support may require you to overcome his objections. Here are effective ways to handle his objections:
- Identify the root cause of his objection and address it accordingly.
- Acknowledge his feelings and concerns.
- Provide additional information or evidence to support your claim.
- Modify your proposal to meet his needs.
- Discuss the potential consequences of not supporting your proposal.
- Seek third-party advice or support if necessary.
- Avoid being defensive or attacking his objections.
Handling And Resolving Conflict
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but effective conflict resolution can prevent it from escalating. Here is how to handle and resolve conflicts with your husband:
- Focus on the problem, not the person.
- Take responsibility for your actions and words.
- Listen actively and express empathy.
- Use “i” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid blaming.
- Find common ground and compromise if possible.
- Set clear boundaries and expectations.
- Seek professional help if necessary.
Mastering the art of persuasion, handling objections, and conflict resolution are essential skills to get your husband on your side. By using the seven basic tactics for persuasion, addressing his objections, and handling conflicts effectively, you can build a strong and supportive relationship with your husband.
The Importance Of Consistency And Patience (#5 Heading)
The Power Of Consistency In Persuasion
Consistency is key in any relationship, and it’s especially true when seeking to get your husband on your side. Being consistent enables your partner to trust you and your actions. If you’re persistent and consistent in your efforts, he’ll start to see that your words and actions align.
Here are some ways to be more consistent:
- Keep your behavior in check: Consistency is about being predictable, and keeping your behavior in check can help build that predictability. Practice self-control, and avoid erratic behavior or mood swings that can potentially harm the relationship.
- Follow through on commitments: Always do what you say you’re going to do. This builds trust, and when you’re consistent in your commitments, your partner will begin to rely on you.
- Practice active listening: Consistency can also be practiced through active listening. Make sure you take the time to really hear your partner, so that you can respond consistently to his needs and concerns.
Persistence And Patience When Communicating
When communicating with your husband, it’s important to be persistent and patient. Here are a few tips to help you communicate more effectively:
- Take time to understand his perspective: Before launching into a dialogue, take some time to understand your husband’s opinions, needs, and motivations. That way, you can better align your thoughts and actions with what he wants.
- Use reflective listening: One of the strategies to overcome disagreements or misunderstandings is by using reflective listening. This means that you reflect what your husband says to you to confirm that you understand what he’s telling you.
- Do not make assumptions: It’s essential to avoid making assumptions. Assumptions are interpretations of reality that might not be accurate. Ask your husband what he’s thinking or feeling when you’re not sure about something. This helps to avoid misunderstandings.
How To Measure Your Progress
Measuring your progress is critical, especially when trying to get your husband on your side effectively. Here are some tips to help you measure your progress:
- Keep track of behavioral changes: When someone changes their behavior, they might not always announce it. So it’s important to pay attention to the behaviors to see how they change. Keep track of how your husband responds to changes that you implement.
- Set clear goals: Always set clear, attainable goals. This can help you to measure your progress accurately and regularly. Write down your goals, specific and measurable, and work towards achieving them.
- Celebrate small wins: Efforts at improvement should be reinforced. So, each time you make progress, celebrate the small wins to encourage more change that is in line with your objectives.
Consistency and patience are essential when trying to get your husband on your side. Be consistent, patient, and measure your progress to ensure success in your efforts. Remember that change takes time, effort, and commitment, so keep working at it and never give up.
Frequently Asked Questions Of How To Get My Husband On My Side Chapter 39
How Can I Improve Communication With My Husband?
Improving communication with your husband isn’t as complicated as it might seem. Make an effort to listen, express your own feelings calmly and clearly, and be open to compromise.
What Are Some Ways To Increase Intimacy With My Husband?
Intimacy in marriage can be improved in many ways. Try to reconnect on an emotional level, make time for one-on-one activities together, and express your love and appreciation for one another regularly.
How Can I Handle Conflicts With My Husband?
Conflicts are a natural part of any marriage, but it’s important to handle them with care. Listen to your husband’s perspective, avoid criticism or blame, and focus on finding a solution together.
How Can I Get My Husband To Support My Goals?
Getting your husband on your side is all about communication and compromise. Be clear about your goals and why they matter to you, show appreciation for his support, and work together to find ways to achieve your aims.
What Can I Do If My Husband Is Resistant To Change?
If your husband is resistant to changing his behavior, it can be frustrating. Try to understand where he’s coming from, offer positive reinforcement for small steps in the right direction, and seek professional help if necessary.
Conclusion
After reading chapter 39 of “how to get your husband on your side,” we hope you have gained valuable insights on strengthening your relationship with your partner and improving communication. Remember, building a strong partnership takes time, effort, and effective communication.
Start by being open and honest with your partner, expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Focus on empathizing with your partner’s point of view and finding common ground. It is also important to prioritize quality time together while respecting each other’s individual needs and boundaries.
By following these tips and continuing to work on your relationship, you can build a lasting partnership full of love, trust, and support. We encourage you to keep reading and applying the valuable advice provided by this book to further enhance your relationship with your partner.